Lovemaking Technique: Communication

Have you heard about Giacomo Casanova? From Eastern and Western, there is no one who doesn’t know him. According to biography book, he has not very attractive face; he has a very plain face. Nevertheless, he was having many female lovers throughout his life. Why? He was a clever talker. His smooth talk, and calmness was almost mesmerizing womenfolk. You can enjoy talking continuously as well as he if you repeat verbatim the conversation whenever you talk to her. “Backtracking” will help sympathizing between lovers only for a brief time through constant talking and finding out information about her. The simplest explanation is that backtracking is the skill that keeps up the talking by following other's words.



Application of Backtracking

M: What did you do yesterday?

W: Yesterday? I hung out with friends.

M: Hung out with friends? I thought you have no friends to talk to.

W: What are you talking about? I have so many friends. Blah-blah-blah

As you can see above, they started chatting about what happened yesterday and focused on. However, he brought up a subject of friends; changing a topic of conversation, ‘what’ to ‘who’, and he mentioned again to maximize the backtracking skill. So, you can lead and have a talk continuously by replacing a topic such as ‘what’, ‘who’, ‘when’, ‘why’…

Be aware of vending machines

"We must be aware of what we choose, if not we will choose to fail." - Anonymous

The other day I was sitting in class during a break we had a guy came in hoarding 4 candy bars and probably like 100 cookies.

"What the heck?" I said.

"Go check it out. The vending machine is broken outside and it gives you 3 of everything!"

So I go out there and sure enough, I press D7 for a Kit-Kat...I get 3 Kit Kat. I press B3 for a pink cookie, I get 3 pink cookies. I couldn't contain my excitement! It was awesome!

After all, it's the machine's fault it's broken. Not mine. I shouldn't have to be punished for my choosing to get a candy bar and I get 6. It's the machine's fault, not mine.

I called KacyAnn after class to tell her about my new found treasure. As I was telling her, I realized that what I had done wasn't the best choice.

I justified, "Yeah but I gave most of the candy away to fellow classmates. I'm like Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor. College students are as poor as they come."

My choice effected other people.

Be aware of yourself, what you are doing, how you are speaking.

Oh...and broken vending machines.

Sometimes you need to compromise

I love basketball.

I went to the basketball hall of fame....6 times, (It helped that I was living in Springfield, MA for 6 months).

I remember when I was 15 years old. My little brother Chad and I, were tired of the swing set.

"Dad, I'm too old to swing on those flexible pieces of plastic connect to chains and whenever I go down the slide the little hornets nest gets disturbed and I run away screaming. Can't we get rid of the swing set and get a basketball court?"

(Okay-so maybe that is the worst run on sentence ever; and maybe it wasn't phrased quite the way I'm describing....except for the run away screaming part...but I was only 15 okay?....and the screaming part was mostly Chad...)

"Ryan, we can't throw out the swing set. Each post is cemented three feet into the sand pit with about four feet worth of cement on the post itself."

Now, my compromising skills weren't quite like they are now. So, they probably sounded as follows:

"But Dad!"
"No Ryan, we can't"
"But Dad!"
"No"
"Bu--"
"Ryan, this conversation is over."

Being my teenage self, and trying to find a way to show my dad that I do know everything. I came up with a plan.

"Hey Dad, what if Chad and I dug up the posts and chipped off the cement?"

"You really want to do that?"

".....yes.....and we can give the swing set to Mrs. Jensen's kids. They're little."

"Okay. If you do that, we'll get a basketball court."

I spent that entire summer sweating away, breaking my dad's pick-ax, and chizzling off that cement. But I got the court.

Sometimes compromising takes time.

Sometimes you have to step back, think a little different, and be willing to work.

...Even if it takes all summer.