How You Know She's too Young

Old guys dating young girls 

The trend lately is guys dating younger and younger girls.  Here are some obvious, but important factors to consider when trying to determine if you are robbing the cradle a little too much.

People think you're her dad

When you look at a picture of you and the girl you are dating and see a father and daughter, you know its got to stop.  If you see it, imagine what other people see.  You may start to notice people staring and pointing when they see you holding hands as they wonder how big of an allowance you are giving that young 18 year old.

When you graduated from high school she was a 5th grader

Sure, as we get older age gaps get smaller.  But if you are in your upper 20's and you are trying to date girls right out of high school you should probably stop and think about the fact that when you were graduating high school she was in elementary school.  Weird, right? Not okay.

She can't remember Y2K

If she can't remember the turn of the century she is young! You were probably out partyin' like it was 2000, (oh yeah, it was) and she was probably asleep by 8:45.  Let this one go, and go find a girl that you can reminiss with about the 1990's.

Super Heroes

I have always loved superheroes.

I have been intrigued by how they are so willing to help other people because they recognize that is who they are. It is in their nature to serve, help, and save. They don't do something and then expect reciprocity, they do something and if someone reciprocates-I applaud them.

Reciprocity is something to be valued. Not something to expect.

One of my church leaders from when I was a youth told me this story once. He said he was way outside of town on a date. They were at an area called Nutty-Putty caves and they were going there for a date and then heading back home in the late afternoon for the local school dance.

"My tire blew out." He said. "I didn't have tools, or a spare. We were stuck."

(Now-I didn't ask him this, but I wonder if that made the date a little more awkward.)

He told me that he wasn't sure what to do, and he knew he needed someone to help him quick.

"It was getting dark, and I wanted to at least get my date home." He stated.

He told me that he said a prayer. Nothing huge, he just asked for help and he promised that if they could have help, he would do everything he could the rest of his life to stop and help others who were stranded.

He had decided that reciprocity was something he valued.

"No more than 10 seconds after that, a truck pulled over. He hooked my car up and towed me home."

I've heard countless stories since then of this man helping others. From older women stranded in a blizzard, to ladders falling from a construction truck.

I can know what you value by what you do, more than what you say.

Scavenger Hunts

One of the things  that you'll learn about me is that I am somewhat a nerd. When my wife and I were dating I planned a secret kidnapping. The plan was to ask her out on a date to free up her plans on her birthday and then her friends and I planned to pick her up dressed as pirates and take her to Pirate Island (a pirate themed pizza parlor). Towards the end of our dinner the waiter brought out a well prepared ol' treasure map which was the start to a well crafted scavenger hunt. You see the thing which made this fun is neither my wife nor myself knew anything about the game or how elaborate it really was. We went from the restaurant to BYU campus, to the library, to an intersection and then finally to a park located in the canyon. There we ended the night with a campfire and cake. What made things even more interesting was the raccoon who started to feast on our cake when we turned our backs, and nothing seemed to scare it away!

The scavenger hunt was such a creative and inexpensive way to plan a date. But to make it fun make sure you get someone else to plan it for you!

Is your Clothing ruining your Date life?

        It drives me nuts when I hear my friends say, "Im not going to change anything about myself, a guy should like me for the way I already am". This is crap! Especially if you don't try to look presentable...ever. Why is this crap? They should like you for you and not how you look...right? Well guess what, even the "Hot girls" get dumped; this mean that guys do, or do not, like you for you. But the "Hot girls" get dates and you don't.

       But NEWS FLASH! You don't need to be "Hot" to get a date. There are plenty of average ladies dating and getting married to the man of their dreams. Sure, maybe some of them are what we all know as "the Exception", but Im going to assume that some of them also tried to present themselves in a manner that would also attract their men.

         Still think you don't have to change something? Look at the guys you are interested in. What are they wearing? Look at the guys you could care less about. What are they wearing? Who do you look like most? Now look at the girls they talk to and what they are wearing. Then look at the girls they date and what they are wearing. Who do you look like most?

        What you wear can tell your whole emotional story so choose wisely. You don't have to be in trend, but you should be presentable. Clean clothes do not mean you are presentable. If the shirt you are wearing has a company logo on it (one that doesn't make clothes), or its too big, or its like 5 years old and you can tell its 5 years old... then it needs to be saved for the company picnic, or sleeping, or yard work.... These are not the things to wear when your going out. Even if your just going to the movies with your closest friends.

       This does not mean you have to change what you like about yourself. It does not mean you have to match what everyone is wearing. It does mean you should be self evaluating yourself before you start ranting about why your not dating.

       You have to consider what you would look for in a guy. Everything thats not good enough for you, you should assume, isn't good enough for him.

       Something to think about:
If while your self evaluating and looking at what everyone else is wearing and who they are dating you notice what kind of people they are, don't be afraid to tell yourself that you've changed your mind about how you feel about them.

Be aware of vending machines

"We must be aware of what we choose, if not we will choose to fail." - Anonymous

The other day I was sitting in class during a break we had a guy came in hoarding 4 candy bars and probably like 100 cookies.

"What the heck?" I said.

"Go check it out. The vending machine is broken outside and it gives you 3 of everything!"

So I go out there and sure enough, I press D7 for a Kit-Kat...I get 3 Kit Kat. I press B3 for a pink cookie, I get 3 pink cookies. I couldn't contain my excitement! It was awesome!

After all, it's the machine's fault it's broken. Not mine. I shouldn't have to be punished for my choosing to get a candy bar and I get 6. It's the machine's fault, not mine.

I called KacyAnn after class to tell her about my new found treasure. As I was telling her, I realized that what I had done wasn't the best choice.

I justified, "Yeah but I gave most of the candy away to fellow classmates. I'm like Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor. College students are as poor as they come."

My choice effected other people.

Be aware of yourself, what you are doing, how you are speaking.

Oh...and broken vending machines.

How to Ask Her Out the Right Way

A good date starts way before you go to pick her up for the actual date.  The impression you portray before the date help set the tone for the date itself including how you ask her out.  This post is going to help you ask her out in a way that gets her excited about the date and gets her looking forward to spending time with you.

Lets start with the Do-Not's:

Do not text her... 

This applies to the initial time you ask her out on the date.  Sounds old fashioned?  No way.  Texts are casual and not a big deal.  You don't want her to think that she is not a big deal.  It can also come across as you being to shy to ask her in person.  Girls love a confident guy and a text does not portray confidence.  

Do not reveal too much... 

When you ask a girl out on a date a small element of surprise goes a long way in making her excited for the date.  Give her enough information so that she doesn't wear high heals and a skirt if you are taking her on a bike ride but try not to reveal your entire plan.  Girls are always intrigued by what they don't know.  

The Do's:

Do ask her out in person... 

If at all possible you should ask your date out face to face.  This displays confidence and you typically get a response right away.  After you've got her commitment for next Friday night be sure to continue with a natural conversation.  Its pretty lame to walk up to her, ask her out, and then walk away.

Do have an idea what you are going to do on the date before you ask... 

She is likely going to ask what you are planning for the date.  Its lame to say something like "I'll come up with something".  At the same time you don't want to come across as a creep that has been thinking about this for months.  Naturally let her know the basics of your idea and let her know its going to be a blast.

None of this is rocket science.  You just need to compose yourself and go about it the right way.  Good luck gentleman.  No go and ask that girl out that you've been eyeing and have a blast!

Get Their Attention! Even if you're Shy.

Your body language is louder than your words! Even for those people who are really loud.

        You look at him, he looks at you, you both smile, then he walks over to say hello. OMG What just happened!? When you make contact like this, it's a common language that you need to be aware of. Eye contact, and smiling are invitations; you just told them they are allowed to come talk to you. What if your shy and can't keep the eye contact, or your smile gets lost in your nervous pressed lips? Well, some guys will see past this. It helps if your able to make some double takes when you look at them. If you can't do it though, then your going to have to find a way to practice.

        But fear not! There are other things you can do as well!

        Positioning your pelvis. Basically, you need to point your pelvis in the direction of the person who's attention your focused on. This means you can turn your shoulders away in that slightly shy move, you can even turn your head away; but half of your body is still facing the other person, so they know your attention is on them, or that its going to return to them.

        Once upon a time, five of my friends all decided to use this method combined with smiling faces and sparkling eyes on a cashier at the grocery store. They never shifted their hips, or took their eyes off him. His grin was ear to ear, I thought his head was going to explode !

        Let's say your not very good at noticing people. Your head gets all fuzzy in a group of people till one singles you out. This will make it kinda hard to focus your eyes, or your pelvis, to let anyone know what your up to. Best thing you can do (fuzzy head or not), before you even enter the room, stop in the doorway. Let your friends walk in ahead of you, and take a "look" around the room, as if your trying to find someone (even though you know where your friends are). Your little pause, gives people time to notice you, and the doorway creates a kind of frame around you, like a portrait. It doesn't always turn every head in the room, but someone will notice you. It's up to you from that point to decide what you will do to keep their attention.