Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Watching What She Wants to Watch

Few things are more perplexing to us guys than a woman's fascination with Twilight. The other day I walked in on my wife who was watching the most recent film and apparently I walked in at the wrong time because Jacob was doing some kind of wolverine imprinting thing...Yeah I don't get it but it was pretty creepy.

So guys, there are some things which we simply cannot watch without risking the loss of our man card, however, it goes a long ways when you consent to watch what she wants to watch. So when you're planning a movie night be considerate, it's not likely that she's going to want to watch Saving Private Ryan or Braveheart. Ask her what she's interested in watching but make it clear that you have the right to veto that way she doesn't even bring up the idea of Twilight.

If your girl is anything like mine she'll likely be a sucker for the oldies so try a John Wayne movie or some kind of romantic comedy with your favorite man crush in it (for me that'd probably be Will Smith). Taking this approach makes for a nice compromise and you may find some of the John Wayne movies to be pretty good.

This upcoming weekend the new Twilight movie is coming out so my plan is to encourage my wife to see the 12:01 showing. It's brilliant really, I mean think about how easy it is to come up with an excuse to not see a 12:01 movie! Anyways she'll enjoy a ladies night out.

In conclusion I wanted to share a link to a BYU Comedy U Skit where a friend sings a tribute to Twilight and it's effect on relationships. Enjoy...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Do's and Don'ts on a First date

Everyone is excited and eagerly looks forward to first date, and people begin to worry that where to go or what to wear; I can say that this is pleasant worry in this case. There are several rules what we must do and must not.

The Do’s

1.       Have to know that do listening carefully is as important as speaking smoothly.

2.      Smile a bright smile when you first see him or her, and laugh generously when he or she is joking.

3.      Keep eye contact with him or her.

4.      In case of their conversation is interrupted, prepare questions.
The Don’ts

1.       Never get drunk.

2.      Don’t speak too personal conversation.

3.      Don’t mention about my ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.

4.      Don’t be late to meeting.

Have fun on a first date!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

When to Walk Away from a Relationship

        Once your in a relationship and you have gotten to know each other, the next step is about asking how long do you stay together. Sometimes its easy, your attracted to them, they have qualities that you look for in a long term relationship, and you get along. But then theres times where maybe you do love them, but something feels... off... and you don't know if you should keep trying or move on.
        These aren't "scientifically proven"  "move along now" reasons, so much as they are reasons that you should maybe consider if you haven't.

~ Your friends and/or  family don't get along with them.
           These are the people who know you best, and will sacrifice the most for you. Find out what is putting a wall between them and your potential. Sometimes misunderstandings can be fixed, and sometimes they may see something or be treated differently, than what you have experienced. Listen to what they have to say, and sincerely consider it.

~ You don't trust them alone with your kids, or your wallet, or your cat/dog.
            If you cant' trust someone, regardless of the reason, its a really bad sign. This is the person who you should be able to share everything with, and you shouldn't have to keep things from them to feel more protected.

~ You feel like their parent.
            If they can't clean up after themselves, pay their bills, or do the simplest of tasks, and you are always fixing the problem; you need to know that if you stay in a relationship with them, you will always be cleaning up their mess. No matter how many times people think someone will change,  most of the time, they won't.

~ If all you/they talk about is work or money.
             Times are tough. We already know this, and of course it's going to be on someones mind. But if this is what your relationship is mostly based on now, then when times get better your going to be out of touch with each other. Make sure your topics of conversation are broad, otherwise its 'Game Over' when you realize you have nothing else in common.  No one wants to grow old and see they wasted 15-20-30 years talking about work.

~ It's been days since you have talked, and you still don't miss them.
             If you aren't looking forward to seeing them on a daily basis, then whats the point?

~ You always invite someone else to come along.
             Having friends is important; but if they have to come to everything to keep your relationship interesting, then you should figure out why the two of you cant enjoy each others company alone. Maybe you don't have as much in common as you thought.

~ They don't have the same goals as you.
              This isn't about work. This is about where you see yourself in the future. What dreams do you have, and do their dreams work with yours? Its ok if those dreams change, they often do. But you should not wait for their dreams to fit yours. If you wait, yours will pass by and you wont be as happy as you might have been.

Your happiness now, and in the future, is really what matters. Yes you should also consider their happiness, but it they are not considering yours, than this relationship is one sided and unsupportive. Make sure that any of your sacrifices are made with a just decision, and that your potential is willing to make those same sacrifices for you.
         There will always be times where someone may be unhappy. But these times shouldn't last for long periods of time. Don't give up to soon, but certainly don't hold on to a lost cause either.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Watch your money grow

A recent article indicated that couples who argue about finances more than three times a month are 30 percent more likely to divorce. What can someone do now to prepare for this so that they can have a better more fruitful relationship? Let's talk about 3 different ways to avoid money getting in the way of your relationship.

1. Make your money disappear

When I first starting dating my wife, some of her family was very hesitant to her and I getting married. I remember when I first met my wife's brother, he was shocked to see that I was driving around a brand new, straight off the lot, 6 miles when I got it, Honda Civic. (Long story why, if you want to know email me.) At first I felt really upset and insecure about it, but as I began thinking about it and looking at the income I had, I realized I could not only afford the car, but I could save to pay it off. 

The first thing I did was look for a bank outside of the bank that holds my checking account and receives my paychecks. Then, I set up my account to withdraw a specific amount of money (I started with $50) on the day I receive EVERY PAYCHECK. After I did that a few months, I realized I could save more and so I raised the amount I saved every paycheck. Because I had the money going to another account, I forgot I had the money because I didn't see it. Before I knew it, I had saved around $3000. Now my wife and I have been able to payoff my car, and have no debt. We set a goal together, and reached it together. That brings us to principle number 2.

2. Set financial goals

Guess what guys?! You can apply sports to your relationships! Have you ever been on a team that practices a specific play over and over and then when it comes time to execute the play is successful? How pumped up do you feel? Great, right? Every player does their role, and the play works. The same can be applied to setting financial goals. You create a budget and a savings goal (your play) and then you execute it. When you  succeed, imagine the stress that could be there financially in your mind shouts for you! Woohoo! Go you!

3. Talk about it, don't just buy it

When you want to go and purchase that new flat screen with surround sound, do not go buy it. Look at the what, why, and whether. Talk about what the purchase is, why you want to buy it, and whether you can afford it right now. If you can't afford it right now, then have the humility to admit that. Go back to step 2 and how you can set goals and if you don't know how you can save, go back to step 1.

Oh, and one more note - don't talk about these things late at night. Always be sure you're both well awake and alert. It helps the conversation go more smoothly.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Warning Signs

First dates are great! But how do you know if you should go on a second? One of the most difficult things is recognizing those things which are warning signs of future problems and this post is an attempt to list just a few.
You might reconsider a second date if:

Warning signs on a date
  • More time is spent texting others rather than engaging in conversation.
  • They answer a call during your date and it's not an emergency.
  • One of you is doing all of the talking.
  • If you're a women and your date didn't open the door for you.
  • If you're a man and your date quickly made a get away after you dropped her off (no good night hug or lingering conversation).
  • They told you all about themselves but didn't ask anything about you.
  • You don't feel excited about seeing them again.
  • Your date wasn't appreciative of your company and time.
  • The person was critical of you and made you feel silly or stupid.

In all cases you should go with your gut feeling. Just because a first date didn't go perfectly it doesn't mean a second date isn't warranted. Sometimes the first date jitters get the best of all of us. HOWEVER, you should never go on a second date to just "be nice" if you know there is no way it would ever work out, don't lead your guy or girl along.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Lovemaking Technique: Communication

Have you heard about Giacomo Casanova? From Eastern and Western, there is no one who doesn’t know him. According to biography book, he has not very attractive face; he has a very plain face. Nevertheless, he was having many female lovers throughout his life. Why? He was a clever talker. His smooth talk, and calmness was almost mesmerizing womenfolk. You can enjoy talking continuously as well as he if you repeat verbatim the conversation whenever you talk to her. “Backtracking” will help sympathizing between lovers only for a brief time through constant talking and finding out information about her. The simplest explanation is that backtracking is the skill that keeps up the talking by following other's words.

Application of Backtracking

M: What did you do yesterday?
W: Yesterday? I hung out with friends.
M: Hung out with friends? I thought you have no friends to talk to.
W: What are you talking about? I have so many friends. Blah-blah-blah
As you can see above, they started chatting about what happened yesterday and focused on. However, he brought up a subject of friends; changing a topic of conversation, ‘what’ to ‘who’, and he mentioned again to maximize the backtracking skill. So, you can lead and have a talk continuously by replacing a topic such as ‘what’, ‘who’, ‘when’, ‘why’…

Monday, October 15, 2012

Embarrassing Dates

        I dont know what it is, but it always happens when I'm on a date. I find a way to do something blush worthy. It's a moment in time that my date will never forget, because its embarrassing. 
        Like this one time I was talking to him as we were eating, and I went to take a sip from my drink, but the straw ended up my nose because I was too busy looking at him instead of paying attention (this has actually happened twice with two different guys). Or there was that time when I tripped UP the stairs... three times in a row! My feet just couldn't find the top! Then there was that time where I fell while hiking..., and when I got my Jeep stuck on the edge of a dried out waterbed..., bowled the ball behind me into the bathroom..., poked some random person with a pool table stick..., walked into a door... you get the idea. 
        Ok, so naturally I wanted to run away and hide in a hole forever. I've had to teach myself something that I learned from an old friend. You just have to laugh at yourself! Even if you are freaking out, LAUGH, because it confuses the person and they think you are having the Best Date Ever! 
         Regardless of the many embarrassing things I have done, I have always gotten a second date. I have a theory about this. See, the other person is just as freaked as you are, maybe more, (I don't know). But once you do something that is Human... well it makes them feel a little more relaxed. Plus, people want to date humans, it's something they have in common with each other. If you meet someone who wants something else... Run!