Sunday, October 21, 2012

When to Walk Away from a Relationship

        Once your in a relationship and you have gotten to know each other, the next step is about asking how long do you stay together. Sometimes its easy, your attracted to them, they have qualities that you look for in a long term relationship, and you get along. But then theres times where maybe you do love them, but something feels... off... and you don't know if you should keep trying or move on.
        These aren't "scientifically proven"  "move along now" reasons, so much as they are reasons that you should maybe consider if you haven't.

~ Your friends and/or  family don't get along with them.
           These are the people who know you best, and will sacrifice the most for you. Find out what is putting a wall between them and your potential. Sometimes misunderstandings can be fixed, and sometimes they may see something or be treated differently, than what you have experienced. Listen to what they have to say, and sincerely consider it.

~ You don't trust them alone with your kids, or your wallet, or your cat/dog.
            If you cant' trust someone, regardless of the reason, its a really bad sign. This is the person who you should be able to share everything with, and you shouldn't have to keep things from them to feel more protected.

~ You feel like their parent.
            If they can't clean up after themselves, pay their bills, or do the simplest of tasks, and you are always fixing the problem; you need to know that if you stay in a relationship with them, you will always be cleaning up their mess. No matter how many times people think someone will change,  most of the time, they won't.

~ If all you/they talk about is work or money.
             Times are tough. We already know this, and of course it's going to be on someones mind. But if this is what your relationship is mostly based on now, then when times get better your going to be out of touch with each other. Make sure your topics of conversation are broad, otherwise its 'Game Over' when you realize you have nothing else in common.  No one wants to grow old and see they wasted 15-20-30 years talking about work.

~ It's been days since you have talked, and you still don't miss them.
             If you aren't looking forward to seeing them on a daily basis, then whats the point?

~ You always invite someone else to come along.
             Having friends is important; but if they have to come to everything to keep your relationship interesting, then you should figure out why the two of you cant enjoy each others company alone. Maybe you don't have as much in common as you thought.

~ They don't have the same goals as you.
              This isn't about work. This is about where you see yourself in the future. What dreams do you have, and do their dreams work with yours? Its ok if those dreams change, they often do. But you should not wait for their dreams to fit yours. If you wait, yours will pass by and you wont be as happy as you might have been.

Your happiness now, and in the future, is really what matters. Yes you should also consider their happiness, but it they are not considering yours, than this relationship is one sided and unsupportive. Make sure that any of your sacrifices are made with a just decision, and that your potential is willing to make those same sacrifices for you.
         There will always be times where someone may be unhappy. But these times shouldn't last for long periods of time. Don't give up to soon, but certainly don't hold on to a lost cause either.

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